Our Fantastic Family Of Four Forever Believes

"Other things may change us, but we start and end with family" Anthony Brandt

Tuesday, September 23, 2008


We all have them. There are just days were you are really sick, and days were we just don't feel well or feel like our normal selves. It seems like children have more of them than adults do. There immune system is not yet as strong as an adult, and they can't fight off certain illnesses like adults can. We have certainly had our share of "sick days" the past couple of weeks. Bailee had a pretty nasty sinus infection and was out 2 days. She was home with me yesterday fighting the same thing again. I had to get antibiotics called in for her yesterday and a decongestant. Caiden was home all last week with pneumonia. Bailee shared some of the same symptoms that Caiden had and I didn't want her to get it, so I went ahead and got her started on antibiotics. I am not the type of mother who runs my children to the doctor on a first cough, but I do watch for certain symptoms and my motherly instinct always kicks in when I see a sign of concern. Then I will take them on in to see the doctor. The past 2 weeks I have had Caiden or Bailee home sick. Being that I don't work anymore, I have to say that when we have these sick days, my mind is somewhat at ease with not having to worry about a couple of issues. If I was working, there would be a lot to consider and things that would have to be worked out. Like

1. I must call my boss, I hope he/she is not upset with me, I can't help it that my children are sick.

2. If They don't understand, and suggest to find another person(a relative) to take care of them, who would I call.

3. I must find time between working(I HAD to go to work) picking up my child from someone else's home, talk to them to see how they did and how they felt, Consider maybe calling the doctor, AND calling the school to pick up their assignments they missed that day.

These are just some of the things I would have to face, IF I was working.Don't misunderstand me, A lot of mothers do have to work, and I am by no means putting them down. Remember, I was one of them not to long ago, I know what goes on and all the sacrifices that go along with it. It is hard, real hard to work and take care of a family. But it can be done and can be manageable. I salute mothers who work, I admire them. But, now I am home, my total focus is on my sick child, and I can totally focus on taking care of them and getting them better. These sick days that I have had with my kids are not the best of days and the best of times, but I so enjoyed taking care of them and spending time with them. Sometimes when a child is sick, parents often dread having to stay home with them and having to take care of them. Some, not all, look at it as a burden. I don't, I am happy about me getting to take care of them, and doing what I can to make them comfortable and feeling better. I am not happy they are sick, but I am happy I am the one who gets to hold them when are in bed with fever, I am the one who brings them chicken noodle soup, I am the one who has the capacity of understanding how they feel when they are sick. For we have all been sick and know what it feels like to have body aches, and shivers, etc. When I dropped off Caiden and Bailee this morning and I watched them walk away, I was soon in dead silence, there was so noise, no radio, just silence. My heart soon felt alone, and I began to cry. I know you are thinking, that they are only going to be gone for a couple of hours. It wasn't that I wasn't going to ever seen them again, It was something deeper than that. I felt like a part of me was missing. I have had these 2 babies home sick and we spent a lot of time together. They were not home at the same time, Therefore, It was like my children got to experience one on one time with me.I have had them both sick at the same time, and I still enjoyed taking care of them. But it was different to have them sick at different times. Bailee is and we always be the sweetest most understanding little girl I know. When she is sick, she rarely asks for anything, just my presence is enough for her. As long as she knows I there, that when she does need or wants something, I am there to give it to her. And she does love for me to climb in bed with her and hold her. This is comforting to her, and it always make her feel better. Caiden is a boy, so take into consideration that men often require a little more attention. This may seem that I am stereotyping, but it's just the simple truth. Not there is anything wrong with it, it's just the way things are. Men and women are different for a reason. And I would never give more attention to any one child, but I do what I can to ease the illness. Caiden loves for me to rub his tummy. He also like for me to climb in bed with him, but to some degree. A lot of times he would rather me just "be" in the room. I could be on the computer or watching tv, it doesn't matter to him. Me just simply "being" there is a lot of comfort to him. Caiden was home sick more than Bailee and Caiden and I were together a lot. Being that he was home for 5 days, we did a lot of school during the day. I had called the school and gathered up all his assignments for the whole week. We did some of it together, and some he did on his own. AGAIN, trying out the new "let's be responsible thing." We worked on various school projects and I got to actually somewhat experience a little of what home school would be like. Bailee slept a lot on her sicks days, but I was there, holding her. And sometimes I would just sit there and watch her sleep. So, the reason why I was so upset was that now that they are better and off to their normal routine, and I felt like they didn't need me anymore, which is absurd to think, but I did feel that way. When they are sick they need you for EVERYTHING. Then visions of the empty nest syndrome hit me. Is this what it is going to be like? Am I going to be alone like this all the time? Jerry will still be working, I didn't like this feeling. It scared me. I want my children home with me, but I know they are growing up and have to declare some type of Independence on their on. But they are my babies, and shouldn't babies stay home forever with their mom? I know this sounds crazy, but I miss them being home so much. I just try to remember something that Bailee once told me, "Mommy, you are our mother, we will always need you." And you know shes right. She may not need me to tie her shoe, or fix her something to eat. There will be other ways. Like taking my grandchildren to the park, or helping her by watching the grandchildren while she goes grocery shopping.And I will definitely be there to help her pick out her wedding dress. Caiden will need me to help him wash his clothes while he comes home for a visit from college! LOL. And he will most definitely need my approval on his wife to be! Just kidding, but I would like to think we would want my honest and most respectable opinion. So, even though I am some what losing a area of them, again, trying to help them be self-sufficient, but having a hard time with letting up, I will be gaining somethings later in their life. I will always be a huge a part of their lives. So, I am smiling now, for I see there are many more experiences that we will get to have together and I feel a great since of hope. I will be there with them always, maybe not physically, but spiritually I am always with them, and they are always with me!


Jolly Mom said...

I know how you feel. My baby boy is only 1 year old and I am already lamenting the day he doesn't need his mommy as much or anymore! It's crazy how intense the love for a child is!

Danielle said...

I know Girl!! Just when you think you can't love them anymore than you already do, there always seems to be more love for them and it keeps growing and growing..Unconditional Love!!!