Friday, August 22, 2008
LITTLE GIRL BIG HEART
While eating lunch with Bailee today, we sat and talked about her day so far. Her little new friend was sitting on the other side of her. Bailee turned to me and whispered this in my ear, " mommy, I feel sorry for her, she only has 1 pair of blue jeans." My mood suddenly changed to concern, about this little girl, and my heart was twinged. How awful, I thought, how sad. I then told Bailee that we would talk about 1st thing when she got home.When I got home from lunch, I couldn't help but feel so much heartache for this little girl. I thought about it so much, that I was trying to find something to do to help keep my mind of it, or least, to Bailee got home. I picked up the kids, we talked about the day, as usual, and Bailee seemed happy, but I could tell that something was bothering her. They ate their snack, and headed to their rooms to play. Normally we would do homework, but it was Friday. I was picking up snack when Bailee called me into her room. I knew what was coming... She told me that this little girl did not have a telephone, nor cable, she had nothing to watch but dvds. She explained to me that her dad lives far away in another state. She had very little clothes, and an old pair of tennis shoes, which I did notice at lunch. Bailee told me this and my heart was so over whelmed with feelings gratefulness and generosity, and pure humbleness. "mommy, I think I am going to give my new friend all of my Hannah Montana stuff, my posters, cds. I am going to look in my closet to find her some clothes. I have too many barbies, I can give her some. I have some extra shoes, I can't wear them any way, she can have them. You know that BFF bracelet that we ordered the other day, I am going to give her the other one.Mom, you know that place we go to to give other people stuff that we don't use any more, can we go there and buy her some things?" Wow, I was speechless. I quickly gathered my thoughts, for I wanted to say the right thing to her. This was HUGE! I first off told Bailee this: Bailee, you are truly one of the most considerate and most unselfish person I know and it blesses my heart that you have so much compassion for those less fortunate than you. I then tried to explain to her the blessings of giving and receiving. It made my heart glad that she was willing to give this little girl(she has only known a few days) everything she had. Bailee is so much like Jerry it hurts. Jerry would give EVERYTHING he had to someone in need. I think that's what I love most about Jerry, He always puts others before himself, A trait I wish I had. Jerry and Bailee wold give you the shirt off their backs.How can A child that looks so much like me,but be so much like her dad! I tried to, with tears in my eyes, to explain the joy in giving. I told her this: "Bailee, It thrills my heart that you are willing to give your things to this friend, BUT mom and dad have worked really hard to give you these little rewards. We are trying to instill you the basic principle of appreciating what you have.. and being content with just that. It's so great that you want to give her so much, but just the fact that you understand and acknowledge people who are less fortunate than you makes you a giver already!And with that being said, Bailee has ALWAYS been content.. she rarely asked for anything.. Just like her dad.. I sometimes feel like I am going overboard with Caiden because he requires a little more. And that's not a bad thing. Reassurance is a huge thing for him. He just needs to know that it's ok to feel this way and he thrives on knowing that someone has seen and appreciated his efforts on certain things he has done. Bailee is a special child. We sometimes clash, because we both want to be in charge. She is very head strong and stubborn. As I , And we both want things done our way, and no other way is acceptable. I always set aside time for my children. I talked to them together and I talked to them individually. This gives me a chance to see what they are thinking and feeling without the other hearing and commenting on it. Bailee and I had a very special night together.I talked to her about a lot of things that were so heavy on my heart. I asked her about how she felt about my ways of motherhood. Was I doing what what expected of me from them? Was I giving them what they needed most. Was I being their mother not their friend. We talked about what I expected out of them, about what I said to them that was not positive or if I said something that hurt their feelings, and on how I can make my self better for the sake of the family.. I just want my children to know that they can always come to me with anything that is heavy on their hearts. My Bailee Grace is growing up, a little too fast in my eyes. I feel like the older she gets, the less she is going to need me, and that scares me.I will always see her as that little sweet girl who loves to play with her barbies and the vibrant little girl who loves to sing and dance, But, she gave me re-assurance tonight that I am still a major part of her life. She told me this, "momma, you are my mother and always will be nothing will change that, and I will always need you, thanks for teaching me how to love people who I sometimes get mad at, because I know that Jesus loves them just like he loves me." My Bailee is soo sweet and so thoughtful, she has such a bright future ahead of her, for she is still my little girl, and she has such a big heart!